Things I learned from Cancer 101 (5)
The funny thing about cancer is….oh wait……..there is nothing funny about cancer! But, there is no rule that says one can’t laugh AT it!
And that is what I did.
Humor is a wonderful way to feed the spirit. There is a rule at Nana’s house, if Nana thinks it’s funny, nobody is in trouble.
The problem with that is ….I think everything is funny.
Humor is found in circumstances that sometimes seem difficult to face, whether you believe it or not. It just made dealing with my situation easier. I knew that if I did OK, then so would my family. They were watching me.
So, if I smiled, they smiled. It was a learning process. I had never dealt with this before, so I just took it breathe by breathe. Some days I couldn’t even see day by day, it had to be one breathe at a time.
After surgery, the hospital sent a counselor or a helper or a busy body, I’m not really sure what to call her, but my friendly “counselor” came by my room just to discuss recovery options and prosthesis. She brought me an attachment to wear home.
It never entered my mind that I would need something like that to look “normal” on my way home.
It was just a small cushion that fit under my arm so that the front of my body resembled a normal female’s. Now I have always been blessed with curves, shall we say, so when I put the little cushion on , Doug and I both burst out laughing!
It was so obvious that this little cushion was not my size! I looked at Doug and said ” they brought me 32 petite instead of a 34 long” I still have that “little” (little being the key word here) cushion.
Laughter truly is the best medicine! To smile when you are concentrating on NOT throwing up is a real gift!
I used to tell my oncologist that I am the only person I know, who for six months, twice a week took chemo treatments and threw up on a regular basis and STILL gained forty pounds!
Now, I don’t care who ya are, that right there is funny!
Steroids will do that to you, so they tell me.
The chemo room, or family room setting where our infusions took place was a huge, sunny room filled with recliners all around the room.
Some were big lazy boy types and others were small, petite ones. So I made it a point to always find the small ones, because I could let my feet actually touch the floor.
While getting my labs done, (blood drawn) I asked Doug to go ahead of me and “reserve” my chair.
When I finished and got to the room, I saw an older man who was small in stature like myself.
I had seen him many times before but he always had a scowl on his face that made him unapproachable.
On this day, I determined that I would introduce myself and just see what happened.
Boldly I walked right up to where he was sitting with his wife and said ‘hello, my name is Sandra, how are you today?”
Still scowling he looked at his wife and said ” Yeah, this is the lady that always steals my chair”
Now I just told you , that I find humor in strange places, so instead of being offended, I just smiled sweetly in return and said ” OK, you big baby, if you want your silly old chair, you can have it!”
Wait for it………………………………………..
The biggest grin spread across his face and I honestly thought he was going to laugh out loud!!
From that day on we enjoyed prodding each other with good natured insults. As it turns out, he was not such an ogre after all. He just wanted to be talked to and have fun.
In his own way, he was coping with the “beast”.
It is true, you really never know the things a person is dealing with or how they feel unless you actually get involved.
His is gone now, as are so many faces that sat in that room at that time.
I wish somehow he could know what an impression he made on me that day.
I had one of the sweetest nurses. Her name is Kim. I have lots of wonderful people in my life named KIM! Go figure!
On the first day of my first infusion, she was explaining how the chemo worked.
In an off hand way, she explained that it would make me sterile. Now at the age of 46, being sterile was not the tragedy that it might have been for some one else, so I just looked her in the eye and said with a grin……”Sweetie, you better hope it does, because if I get pregnant, somebody is gonna go broke around here!”
She still laughs about it to this day!
Laughter is defined as … the display of merriment through sound. I love that!!
I usually don’t wake up every morning with the intentions of being an ass that day, how ever circumstances often cause that result. But by nature, I am not generally in a bad mood. I try very hard not to project my moods onto others, and I hope that I have been successful.
Oh wait, except for that one time in Walmart to that lady who broke in the check out lane if front of me. Now that was a circumstance beyond my control. I had an out of body experience and while I was gone my evil twin, Julie took over and well, let’s just say…..even the cashier was apologizing by the time she left.
BUT, I did smile at her as she was leaving and told her to have a nice day.
Now that counts for something, right?
Oh, well maybe not.
My poor oncologist….poor Dr. Patel!
Not even he was spared my humor! It didn’t help that my sister works for him. That only made him more vulnerable because we tag teamed him!
She would tell him that there was a lady in room two that just could not wait to see him, so of course when he came in I would take over.
I told him that he was the only man other than my husband who could get me to take my shirt off! Being of Indian ancestry, I could never be sure, but I think he blushed!!
I know that some of you may think it odd that I find humor in a life threatening situation, but let me tell you, each of us has the ability to see the silver lining!
It may take a while, but it’s there. Sometimes you have to look really hard to find it.
My diagnosis came right after September 11, 2001. The whole country was shocked. Every one was in a state of disbelief.
You can imagine how, after all that had happened, how frightened I was.
I had to deal with the beast in my own way.
I discovered that laughter heals the spirit. A body is simply a house, but your SPIRIT is where you LIVE.
A sick body is sad to see, but a sick spirit is heartbreaking. The defeated attitude can sneak in before you know it, so one has to always be on guard.
It would have been so easy to sit and cry. To just give up and give in. Oh, trust me, I tried that. Not the way I wanted to live the rest of my life, but had I done that, I feel like I would have been letting down every person who loved me. My husband, my parents, my children. All the people who loved me and that I loved right back and more!
So, I just decided one day after my hair started to fall out that I would just stick my tongue out at cancer and get on with living.
The lessons I have learned from cancer are so valuable! How else would I have known how strong I am, or how much my body can endure without quitting?
How else would I have obtained the gift of compassion for others who are suffering, or the ability to show others that cancer is just a word, not a sentence?
How else would I have become who I am today without the tough schooling by cancer?
No, cancer is not what I would have chosen for myself, but without it, I would not be the ME, that I am today!
And the me that I am is not perfect but I’m not done yet.
I am not what I was yesterday, and not what I will be tomorrow, but I am me today! and the one thing I want all of my friend to know, without a doubt is this…………………..
If I die today, you are to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was HAPPY today!!!! That is how I want to be remembered.
My children have been informed that I want a “drive-by” funeral. Every body is to drive my grave side and blow me a kiss then go home and …………..LAUGH !
The next thing I learned from cancer is to laugh in the face of fear. I love to laugh. I believe even GOD has a sense of humor.
If you don’t believe me just look at some of the animals he created. A hammer head shark? Are you kidding me???
How funny looking is that?
A squid????? An octopus??? Come now, you gotta admit, that’s funny!!!!!!!!!!!!
LAUGHTER…..The display of merriment through sound!!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY YOUR MOMENTS! Even the ones tainted by cancer. I believe it pleases God, much like it would any parent to hear the joy in their child’s laughter!